


Your jealousy is more blind than love

by CynicismFollows



Series: My Enemy [2]
Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, One-Shot, Prince Cardan POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicismFollows/pseuds/CynicismFollows
Summary: Cardan's POV on some of the early chapters, including a missing scene. Title is from 'My Enemy' by CHVRCHES ft. Matt Berninger.





	Your jealousy is more blind than love

**Author's Note:**

> Covers chapters 3 and 4 from Cardan's POV. We don't know much about what was Locke was telling anyone other than Jude, except for a few partial accounts. Taryn confesses that Cardan found out that Locke was with her by the time he confronts her at the end of chapter 8, but that the initial escalation of events was because they thought Locke was with Jude. This is my attempt to recreate how that might have happened.

I’m in no mood for a royal ball. I never much enjoy them, since they’re held at the home of my father, who arranges to rarely see me otherwise. Tonight is particularly unpleasant, since Locke told Nicasia he was no longer interested in her a just few days ago. She has been fragile ever since, which sends her into an indiscriminate swirl of spite. Of course she pretends that it doesn’t hurt, but it is obvious to me that it does. Part of me wants to be glad that she’s getting some return on the suffering she caused me, but I’m mostly annoyed at Locke. He is frustratingly blithe tonight, as though he has no notion of the damage he’s done. We cannot cast any recriminations towards him, without making our weakness even more apparent. With the three of us out of balance, Valerian seems even more savage than normal, which hardly bodes well for the night. The most I can hope for is to sate some of my reckless anger without causing my brother’s ire.

I notice that Valerian is lagging behind, but when I turn he’s talking to Jude Duarte, pulling on her hair. This only serves to further blacken my mood. Jude is someone I’d prefer not to think about at the best of times. Really, I’d prefer that she didn’t exist, or at least that she wasn’t in Faerie, in my classes, in my own thoughts. All places she had no right to enter. I call Valerian over, and once I see that he’s moving I quickly look away. I don’t want to give myself the chance to look at Jude right now. I’ve seen her at revels before, and she is even more distracting dressed in finery than she usually is in class.

Casting around for a new focus, I see a winged faerie, someone I don’t know, someone unimportant. He’s not bowing, as all the others are, even Jude though her eyes flashed at me with insolent defiance. He seems not to know who I am, either, or not to give a care. His mistake. I may not be able to let loose my fury at Locke, or Jude, or even Nicasia, who is far more torn up now than when she abandoned me. But I can do whatever I like to this imp, and it won’t raise the ire of Madoc, or Balekin, or anyone else. First I punch him, sending him to the ground. Before the last laugh can finish leaving his throat I pull off his wing, transforming the sound into a scream.

He lies broken on the ground, and no one takes more note than to bat an eye. It feels good to let loose, but the violence is impotent. I know that I cannot release it on any of my real frustrations, at least not here. I can needle my brother and my friends, but that is rarely satisfying. I can strike at Jude, where Madoc cannot see, but that… That does not truly resolve my feelings towards her.

I walk away, determined to find some wine, which will hopefully be a more effective sop to my fractious nerves. This time I feel that Locke is not following, and as I sigh and glance back, I see that he’s smiling at Jude. And then he winks! Something twists in my gut, and it tightens when he looks to me and his smile widens.

\---------

The rest of the night is probably worse than I expected, if anything. I drink a lot, which is probably what prompts me to hint towards the topic I’ve been brooding on for hours. ‘So. You seem chummy with all sorts tonight,’ I say to Locke.

He tenses a bit at that sally, but there’s an eager undercurrent to it. ‘I like people. And they tend to like me,’ he throws a smirk at Nicasia, who sneers back, but looks at me to try and understand what I’m getting at.

‘It seems to me that mortal lives are so short and base, that they make up half a person, at best.’

‘Perhaps, but I like my dalliances short, as a rule, and as for baseness…’ he trails off with a leer. I’m shocked at how open he’s being about it. Shocked, and disgusted. To be proud of tupping some mortal interloper is obscene. He is proud though, watching Valerian’s revulsion, Nicasia’s hurt and my own horror. ‘Besides, I think Jude Duarte is very interesting. If she is not people, she is still pretty and breakable, which are two things I like even more.’

He clearly hasn’t fallen for her, which should be a relief, but I’m too sickened by the whole idea to feel anything else. Nicasia’s face is twisted, as she says, ‘Perhaps she’d break all the sooner if she knew a little more of what you’d said.’

Locke is calculating. ‘She’ll break all the better if I reveal it in my own time.’

‘I suppose,’ she mutters. I can see she doesn’t want to react too strongly. Though its killing her not to tear Locke’s eyes out, she won’t give him the satisfaction.

‘So you’ll all swear not to say any of this to Jude or Taryn until I’ve finished my game?’

‘When have you ever finished playing?’ I spit.

‘Until they give you to believe that they already know, then.’

‘As long as you make that bitch suffer. I swear,’ Valerian says. Its clear that he finds Locke’s interest perverse, but it doesn’t really affect him.

Nicasia gives a one-armed shrug, with half convincing nonchalance. ‘I swear.’

They all look at me. I can’t bear the thought of Jude touching Locke, of her wanting him at all. But although he knows he’s upsetting me and Nicasia by leaving her for a mortal, I don’t think Locke realises how close he’s hit me with this particular target. That’s not a notion I’d like him to take on. ‘I swear.’

‘Well,’ Nicasia says, standing, ‘I think I’m done here. The dawn’s coming.’ She glances at me, and we leave together.

We make it to a hidden alcove before she breaks down crying on my shoulder. I’m furious at Locke, and worried for Nicasia, even as I think it’s pretty rich for her to do this with me. She wipes her eyes clean after a minute, and her look is sharp and bright. ‘How did you know?’

‘I just saw him smiling at her earlier tonight.’

‘So you didn’t suspect anything before? You don’t think he was already with her when–‘ she breaks off, but we both know what she’s asking.

‘I had no idea. I hate it. But Nicasia, I don’t want to do this with you.’

‘Right.’ She tosses me a smile that is biting and insincere. ‘Let’s not.’

\---------

The following afternoon I have resolved not to even look at Jude. Nicasia has recovered herself somewhat and is tossing her head and preening. She makes a clear point through the class to show off her heritage, which is conveniently the topic of the lecture. The distinction she’s making between herself and the mortal girls is obvious. Soon I can’t help looking over at Jude, but she seems to be hardly paying the world around her any mind. She’s usually such a swot, but today she spins her pen between her fingers, her eyes glazed and distant. Somehow this is more annoying than her usual efforts to show off. It’s as though she doesn’t think she needs to bother trying in class any more, as though she thinks her fling with Locke is going to secure her place for her. That’s disappointing, in a way, but also just foul. If Locke really was going to marry her and bring her into our circle… Well in this case I’d just have to be thankful that he’s a cad.

I change my mind as I watch her. I can’t just ignore her, and let her and Locke continue as they are. She’s more desirable than I care to admit, even with the knowledge that Locke is… He might change his mind. I want to remind him, and her, and myself, of how low she is, of how little she is worth. We’re breaking to eat, and without speaking to the others I get up and walk over to the twins. I kick a clump of dirt up, spilling it over their meal. People laugh and I can tell my friends are watching. Jude’s cowed glare is the same as always, full of temper only barely held in check. 

Nicasia comes to my side, clearly delighted at the chance to spite both Jude and Locke. ‘Something the matter? Dirt, it’s what you came from, mortal. It’s what you’ll return to soon enough. Take a big bite.’

‘Make me,’ Jude growls, and I’m taken aback by her daring.

‘I could, you know,’ I respond, excited that she’s escalating the fight, knowing that she can’t win.

She looks worried, her milksop twin more so. Valerian and Locke have joined us, and we all loom over them. ‘You don’t want that, do you?’ Valerian taunts, kicking up a small dust storm. ‘What if we promise to be nice to you for the whole afternoon, as long as you eat everything in your baskets? Don’t you want us for friends?’

At this jibe she looks mutinous, but her eyes don’t stray to Locke, fixing on mine instead.

Nicasia pulls some ornament from her hair. ‘What’s this? Did you steal it? Did you think it would make you beautiful? Did you think it would make you as we are? You’ll never be our equal.’ I know the real target of this insult is Locke, that she wants to remind him what a poor trade he’s made, but it appears to strike Jude all the same, and she winces.

Locke himself just laughs, ‘Oh come on, let’s leave them to their misery.’ He hasn’t stood up for Jude, which is no great surprise, but is apparently enough to make Nicasia let him pull her a few steps away, and into his arms.

Jude doesn’t react to his harsh words, but her sister interjects, ‘Jude’s sorry. We’re both really sorry.’

This lie is so obvious that it seems a waste of the ability. Jude is bristling and tense, and in every line of taught muscle it is clear that she is not at all sorry. I address her sister, ’She can show us how sorry she is. Tell her she doesn’t belong in the summer tournament.’

‘Afraid I’ll win?’ Jude spits.

‘It’s not for mortals. Withdraw. Or wish that you had.’ I can’t speak about her dalliance with Locke, but part of me hopes she’ll get this double message and break it off with him too. It’d serve him right to be denied for once.

Before she can make another ill-advised comment her sister replies, ’I’ll talk to her about it. It’s nothing, just a game.’ Valerian and Nicasia both respond with taunting, condescending smiles to this grovelling.

I ignore them all, glaring into Jude’s flashing eyes one final time, before walking away and not looking back at her for the rest of the lesson.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan to make a series of one-shots detailing other character's POVs on events in the book, including missing scenes. By the way, I did try to make sure that everything Locke says is technically true, although he makes it seem as though he's with the wrong sister.


End file.
